Posted by Les Divers on Dec 24, 2017

It might be assumed that after the New Zealand General Election in late September 100% of Kiwi’s considered that 50% of the country had lost their minds. In contrast, there is no doubt that 100% of the Rotarians present at Monday evenings Christmas Party agreed with the three Paul Harris Fellows (PHF’s) which were awarded respectively to Mike Collins, Bart Allsop-Smith and the indefatigable Duncan Loney.

From Ian Handisides we learnt that Mike Collins was a master magician at age 16 and joined Rotary in the 80’s in, of all places, Papua New Guinea. He has been a member of Pakuranga Rotary since 1996 and every Christmas displays extraordinary talent at the (Grand)Children’s Christmas Party in keeping the children convinced and their Grandparents in stitches.

Bart Allsop-Smith has been responsible in recent years for the continued success of the Top Day Out Corporate Fishing Day. Peter Taylor related how 40 years ago Bart was a fierce yachting competitor against Peter – it was ultimately Peter who introduced Bart into the Pakuranga Rotary 20 years ago and despite now residing at Matakana, Bart has retained a close relationship with the Coast Guard, Pine Harbour Yacht Club and of course Pakuranga Rotary.

Graham Kearns had the privilege of introducing the award to Duncan Loney with a well worked limerick which is reproduced below.

The three very worthy recipients were each given a standing ovation by fellow members who are all fully appreciative of the time, energy, passion and service which the club and the wider community has enjoyed from them over a lengthy period.

The PHF awards had been preceded by an evening of political creativity, comment, chicanery and controlled chaos. Orange Guy was created by our Electoral Commission to target the young voting demographic - on Monday evening Orange Guy turned out to be President Dave. With large dollops of encouragement from the effervescent duo of Graeme Houston and reporter Duncan Loney we were fed alternative facts, fake news and a rather filling three course meal by Waipuna in the mix was a media panel comprising Lynley Bowater, Bob French, Frank Burns and Noel Holyoake. The span of views clearly would not have stretched very far across the political spectrum. Each table of guests was assigned a political party and many demonstrated considerable inventiveness in assembling a logo for that party; other parties showed somewhat less imagination. While most of our politicians received appropriate ridicule, it can’t be all that bad – Steve Gilbert has applied for and was being admitted to New Zealand citizenship this week.

Duncan Loney PHF


A limerick packs laughs anatomical

Into space that is quite economical.

But the good ones I've seen

So seldom are clean

And the clean ones so seldom are comical.


There’s a man from somewhere near Christchurch

Who began his career with a search,

What need he know

Where should he go

To study to achieve a good perch?

From Rangiora to Lincoln he went

Much time in serious study was spent

To achieve a degree

Which was a pleasure to see

Thus food science become his real bent.

In so many roles he achieved success

How he did this was anyone’s guess

But of course we all know

It was his charm that did show

And the results were never a mess.

His fame and fortune was far and wide

His many successes were nothing to hide

And travel he did

With ingredients his bid

And strict business morals as a guide.

His job took him off to many places,

Switzerland was one of the aces

But when there it’s true

He often felt blue

Board meetings are often blank spaces.

He went to India which was quite galling

The conditions there were appalling

And this tall handsome man

Had many a pretty fan

But focus on business his true calling.

To China was a company ambition

And business there is quite a mission

The rules are quite strange

But he managed to change

When he finally understood the tradition.

( gān bēi - 杯 )

To show his true worth to all here

Rotary took some of his time to spare

His knowledge and advice

Added a lot of spice

To all the things he did while here.

With his pie making skills on show

As Rotarians we wanted to know

How best to make pies

That brought tears to the eyes

Of judges with nowhere else to go.

His dress-ups were something we sussed

He surprised many with the size of his bust

To dress as a Dame

And a fairy the same

To make him President was certainly a must.

He is master of all he surveys

His singing often brings high praise

His roles as MC

Is a pleasure to see

But his jokes may have seen better days.

So Duncan is who we’re about

We enjoy Loney’s company no doubt

He enjoys ours as well

But you never can tell

When it comes around to his turn to shout.

Being the first of our Club you see

To take on twice the Presidency

He’s a man for all seasons

But are these the reasons

We wish to recognise this devotee

Duncan, for all you have done for us here

Our Club wants to show that we care

By letting the world know

You’re a Paul Harris Fellow

Please come forward and collect the good gear!

(Composed and presented with enormous respect by his friend Graham Kearns).